Faultless
by AmyJ10
Summary: She had to tell him he was right, they couldn't keep doing this. It had been the worst day in their relationship, and she knew they would never recover." What should have happened after Fault. ***Chapter 6***
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Faultless**

**Summary: She had to tell him he was right, they couldn't keep doing this. It had been the worst day in their relationship, and she knew they would never recover.**

**Warning: Mentions of violence**

**Characters: Eliot Stabler, Olivia Benson**

**Episodes: Fault**

**Enjoy guys this is just a little ditty about fault and how they coped, you could call it a missing scene? i'm a huge E/O fan so all my stories will have this theme in it! If you could review that would be great!! Enjoy!! xx**

It had been another bad day. Gitano had wrecked the last part of their friendship that was left. Elliot couldn't stand to be near Olivia, and she knew it. He could barely stand to think about the events that has taken place, Ryan was dead and it was all her fault…it was all his fault. Ryan's death had hurt him more than any other victims death, he didn't know how to deal with it so he did what he usually did. He remembered her face as he yelled at her in front of everyone. He then remembered the utter panic he felt as he saw her fall to the ground, gasping for breath. There was blood all over her hands. He couldn't stand to think about what would have happened if Gitano had been a little bit closer. His heart lurches as he thought about what could have happened to his partner. He didn't know what had happened, but he knew he never wanted to feel the panic he felt as she fell again, he never wanted to see the look of fear in her eyes as she struggled to force herself to shoot him and he never wanted to see the look of hurt on her face that he saw when he accused her of being a liability. It had been nearing the worst day of their 7 year partnership and he didn't know how they were going to recover.

EOEOEOEOEOEOE

It had been another bad day, she sighed as she sat in the back of the cab. He blamed her for Ryan's death, maybe he was right. She let Gitano get too close, if she hadn't been hurt Elliot would have gotten to Ryan and saved him. Her stomach lurched as she remembered being face to face with the monster, he was going to shoot Eliot. Elliot was begging her yo shoot him, to kill him. Her hands were trembling and she was trying not to cry as she tried to summon up the courage to shoot. The look in his eyes terrified her, she never wanted to see that look again. He was trying to reassure her, but he was as scared as she as. She closed her eyes trying to get rid of the images. Now she had to tell him that he was right, they couldn't keep doing this. It had been the worst day in their 7 year partnership and she knew they weren't going to recover, she just had to tell him.

EOEOEOEOEOEOEOE

As Elliot grabbed another drink he sank into the sofa, he'd thought about calling her but he couldn't quite summon up the courage to pick up the phone. He didn't even know why he was still mad at her, it was illogical and he knew it but he just couldn't help it. A few days apart would suit them, then they could pretend today hadn't happened. She could recover from being assaulted and he could try to figure out why he was so mat at her. He was shaken from his thoughts by the sound of a knock on the door. He sighed an got up, walking towards the door. He was surprised to find Olivia stood on the other side of the door, she looked frightened.

"Uh, can I come in?" she asked, her hands were in her pocket and she bit her lip nervously.

"I'm not really-" he stopped as she raised her hand slightly,

"It won't take long," she told him, he nodded. She walked in slowly and he closed the door behind her.

"Liv, I'm pretty tired." he told her, she nodded. She didn't say anything, "Liv…" he looked at her, she looked up at him. "Do you want a drink?" he asked expecting her to politely decline.

"Whiskey?" she asked, he looked up surprised. "Water will do," she tried to force a smile. Why was this so hard?

"Uh sure…" he walked towards his drink cabinet. "How uh…how's you're neck?" he asked, she put her hand up to the wound.

"It's okay, it's uh…it's fine." she told him quietly, he poured her drink and handed it to her. "You okay?" she asked him, he nodded.

"I'm just tired," he repeated, she nodded. "What can I do for you?" he asked, she looked at him.

"I think we should talk," she told him, he shook his head.

"Not now Liv." he told her, she bit her lip again.

"We need to-"

"Not now!" he raised his voice, "the kid is barely cold-" he said stopping when he realised what he'd said. She looked at him with a look of confusion,

"Elliot, you can't blame me for this - it's not fair." she told him, he didn't say anything. She was waiting for him to tell her that he didn't blame her. That it wasn't her fault. "El…" her voice trailed off, "I was trying to get the little girl - I…do you honestly think it was my fault?" she asked him, he didn't look at her."You should never have let him get that close," he mumbled, she couldn't hide the hurt in her eyes "If he hadn't got that close I wouldn't have had to run to you instead of Ryan." he told her, she shook her head.

"No, no that was your choice to run to me Elliot - you could have run to him -"

"I thought he slit your throat!" he answered angrily,

"I didn't ask you to run to me Elliot,"

"Next time I'll leave you to bleed to death? How does that sound?" he raised his voice, she was getting angry too.

"You can't be angry at me because of a decision you made?!" she raised her hand to her head,

"If you hadn't got yourself-"

"Got myself what? Got myself stabbed? Who the hell do you think you are?"

"The guy who always saves your ass that's who I am!"

"Who always saves my ass?" They were both shouting, "Are you serious?! I don't know who the hell you think you are but you are not the knight in shining armour that you think you are Elliot-"

"You know what I don't wanna do this now!" he turned away from her,

"No, no we're doing this now!" she told him still angry, she took a deep breath before speaking again. "I can't keep doing this Elliot, we can't keep doing this to each other." she struggled to keep her emotions in tact. "I don't know how to fix this-"

"Olivia, that little boy is dead because of us-"

"No because of Gitano-" she tried to get him to see it wasn't his fault,"We let him down!" he paced around the room as they argued

"We did our best Elliot-"

"He slit his throat while I was looking after you!"

"I didn't ask you to-"

"You don't have to God damn ask me! What the hell am I supposed to do?!" he shouted at her,

"Do you're job!"

"So now it's my fault!?"

"I didn't say that and you know I didn't - don't twist my words- Jesus Elliot why are we even doing this-"

"Because I've had enough of looking out for you! You screwed up and a kid died because of it-" he didn't even finish his sentence before he felt the hard slap against his cheek, she pulled back completely shocked. Breathing heavily the sting of his words still taking affect as tears filled her eyes, he looked at her and put his hand up to his cheek. He stepped towards her, she shook her head as the first tear fell. She shook her head and backed away,

"Liv-"

"No- I can't do this anymore-" he stepped forward, he tried to reach out for her she hit his arm away, he tied to pull her into a hug. She hit him again angrily as the tears fell, as he refused to let go she hit him again and again -

"I'm sorry-" he tried to grab her arms to stop her from hitting him,

"Don't!" she hit him harder, he put his hand up in defence.

"Liv!" he grabbed her roughly and pushed her against the wall with a thud, she looked at him with fear in her eyes. All of his emotions rushed over him as he pinned her against the wall and he suddenly realised why he was so angry. He looked into her eyes and did something that shocked them both, as his lips touched hers she froze. He needed this, he needed her. Any other day, any other time someone else would so, but right now as he deepened the kiss he needed her. The fear he felt when she was stabbed suddenly took over him, he couldn't loose her. She needed him, always him especially today when they'd so nearly lost each other. They shouldn't be doing this, as her desperation took over she returned the kiss and something came over them both. They clung to each other as if they'd never needed anything more, he cupped her face and pulled her closer. She wrapped her arms around him afraid to let go.

EEOEOEOEOEOEOEOE

Elliot had never slept so well, months of torment and awkward moments between him and his partner had ruined and hope of a sleep pattern for him. Olivia glanced at him as she picked up the last of her things, they hadn't made it to the bedroom both so desperate to be close to one another so as her partner slept on the sofa she glanced at him one last time before slowly walking towards the door.

He'd woken up and she was gone, he wasn't surprised just apprehensive. He suspected they would just forget the night had ever happened, he never thought it would happen but he was determined not to let it ruin them, not anymore than he already had. He still hadn't apologized for the things he had said to her, this would have to change. He braced himself as he walked into the office only to see an empty desk. He turned to Much,

"Liv not in yet?" he asked, Much looked at him with…with what was that sympathy? "Munch?"

"Captain want's to see you El," Munch mumbled.

"John?" he looked at his friend, Munch took a deep breath and shook his head.

"She's gone," he told his friend.

**Thanks for reading guys, hope you enjoyed it please review I have idea's for more E/O stories with lots of angst. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for the reviews guys! X x x X**

Elliot sat in the dark locker room, he sighed as he thought about the case. He raised his hand to his face, why did it seem to hit him hard. Not just this case, every case since...he mentally checked himself. She was gone, it had been a good few months, and he hadn't heard a thing. He knew the others had, again he sighed thinking about the last thing he'd said to her.

"_...I've had enough of looking out for you! You screwed up and a kid died because of it-"_ he remembered the sharp sting across his face as she slapped him, he was lucky she hadn't hit him harder. He sighed again. She was gone; he didn't understand anything about those 24 hours where they had nearly lost each other. He knew that he deserved her anger, but not this; she had to understand that they worked better together. She had to know he would miss her, and she would miss him too he knew it. He constantly struggled to cope with her absence. Cragen had told him she requested the transfer after they had spoken at the hospital, which meant that she knew she was leaving when she arrived at his door, when they argued, when she returned his kiss, when they... his stomach lurched.

He'd tried to forget the night they had spent together; he knew it should never have happened. He tried to convince himself that it was just two adults finding comfort in each other after a horrific day and on some level it was. But there was so much more than that...he couldn't go there. He stood up and walked towards his locker, still thinking of the look in her eyes as he continuously hurt her. The initial resistance when he kissed her, for a moment he thought she was going to kick his ass. He knew she was shocked, they'd never let it get this far, this emotional. When she finally returned the kiss and wrapped her arms around him it was like 7 years of hurt and confusion rolling onto one, he couldn't let go, couldn't stop kissing her and he prayed to God that she didn't pull away. She didn't. It hadn't been romantic, or loving. It had been frantic and desperate, almost aggressive, he knew he had a few bruises and wondered if she had too? He wasn't trying to hurt her but all of his pent up aggression and confusion seemed to come out as he roughly pushed her down on the sofa, only then stopping the kiss that had started minutes before, she reached up grabbed his collar and pulled him on top of her continuing the hunger filled kiss. Neither one of them spoke when it was over, neither one dared to move. He didn't know when he had fallen asleep but with her lying on top of him in his arms he felt like he had never slept better. When he'd woken up and she wasn't there he was slightly disappointed. He was expecting they would either talk about it or ignore it, he was happy to take her lead, it was the least she deserved after the way he had treated her. He remembered the sharp feeling in his chest as Cragen explained that she was gone; he'd never been as drunk as that night. He'd struggled to work through the day without killing someone and then drank himself into oblivion. He knew he'd been a nightmare to work with and be around but he couldn't help it, she was gone.

"Elliot," he looked up as John walked in,

"You uh, you wanna go for a drink?"

"You asking me out on a date?" Elliot tried to joke, he looked at the look on the older man's face, what was that? Sympathy?

"Was just thinking a few beers, maybe a few more after that?" he offered, Elliot looked up. "I don't like seeing you like this Elliot,"

"John, I'm fine-"

"You call punching your locker into oblivion fine?" he asked looking at Elliot's bandaged hand. "Not to mention your partners face-"

"He's not my partner,"

"Yes he is, you need to accept it Elliot."

"Accept him?"

"No, accept that she's gone,"

"I accept it-"

"Don't gimmie that, I don't know what happened...I don't know why she left, but she did. She's got a new partner and so have you, you need to get used to it not being Elliot and Olivia,"

"She's got a new partner?" he asked trying not to look bothered, he wanted to be the one watching her back. The one thing he told her he didn't want to do anymore...he'd never wanted it more.

"Come out tonight Elliot," John told him,

"Uh, you know what I have the kids John," he lied. "But thanks," he walked out leaving John alone in the darkened room.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you so much for sticking with this story! I am still getting over the disspointment of wildlife - although you know I loved the *scene* he he!! Enjoy! xxxxx**

Olivia walked into her apartment, she sighed as she turned the light on. The room felt so empty, she walked towards the kitchen opening the fridge. Empty. She stood staring for a few moments; she thought moving away would make her happier. She knew it would be hard and she knew she would miss people but she thought after a few months she would get used to it. She hadn't. She found herself constantly thinking about her friends, she missed everything. She missed Cragen, she spoke to Fin occasionally but it wasn't the same. She even missed Much's ridiculous theories, she could cope with missing these men, it made her sad but she could get through it. Thinking about Elliot almost proved too much for her to handle. She closed the fridge door and aimlessly wondered towards the sitting room, with the others it was a dull feeling of regret, with Elliot her heart was so heavy that sometimes she couldn't breathe. She knew it would be hard when she thought about leaving, and she made it even harder by going to see him that night.

She bit her lip as she remembered the way he grabbed her, she'd never ever been scared of him before, but they had taken it so far that night, never before had they let it get that emotional. She knew she shouldn't have hit him, and when he grabbed her she thought she had pushed him too far. Her heart nearly jumped out of her chest when he kissed her, she froze. Her head telling her to pull away, her heart screaming to stay exactly where she was. She had always promised herself that she wouldn't allow it to happen but she needed him, she had nearly lost him. She didn't expect that he would kiss her and as she slowly gave in she was terrified he would pull away. He didn't. He kissed her like he had only minutes left to live, she wrapped her arms around him scared that it wasn't real, scared that he didn't need her as much as she needed him. She still couldn't quite believe that they had given in after 7 years, he was her best friend and although she would never admit it to anyone but herself she was in love with him. There had been other tough cases, other kids, other arguments but never like this; it wasn't like she thought it would be but ...it was frantic not gentle, there were no long confessions of feelings just blatant passion, something of which she had never felt more than when he kissed her. She rubbed her face with her hands, this wasn't getting any easier. She had lay in his arms that night, never felt more complete...but more heartbroken. As he slept she lay awake struggling to decide whether to still go, she didn't sleep for even a few minutes. No one else could die because of her feelings for him. As she struggled to get up without waking him she struggled not to cry. She knew it would be the last time they would see each other and she knew that if he woke up she wouldn't be able to go, but she had to. She knew he wouldn't understand, but she was doing it for him as much as her. He had knocked her completely off balance by making the first move, something she never thought he would do and something she would never allow herself to do; before she left his apartment she turned and watched him as he slept hoping that one day he would be able to forgive her.

**The next chapter is going to be interesting!! Hope you like this guys, am loving writing it! xx**


	4. Chapter 4

Elliot and Fin were sat with a young woman in her apartment, Elliot sighed and stood up. The young woman was covered in bruises.

"Okay, well Lisa, if you need us then call this number-" Fin told her as he handed her a card,

"He won't do it again, it's okay. Thank you." She replied quietly,

"You really think that?" Elliot asked the young woman, she looked up at him. "You know how many girls like you I've seen in the morgue?" he asked, almost angrily. She was obviously stunned, "He says he won't do it again? Come on you're not stupid Lisa-"

"El-" Fin tried to interrupt,

"He said he was sorry" she said softly, struggling not to cry.

"He's scum, and you know it. Look in the mirror," he told her, she walked forwards and opened her front door,

"I'd like you to leave now..." she mumbled, Elliot shook his head and walked out, closely followed by Fin who gave the young woman an apologetic smile. As they got to the car Fin sighed loudly trying to get his friend's attention,

"Is there a problem?" Elliot asked turning to him, Fin looked at him.

"You play the good cop bad cop game with Olivia?" he asked, he saw Elliot almost wince at the mention of her name. "Cause that doesn't work with me, if he beats her again she won't call us because you had to pull that crap with her Elliot-"

"Don't gimmie that, she's deciding to stay with him-"

"Oh so it's her fault?" Fin asked angrily, "What you think she should leave? That always works so well right?" he asked, Elliot knew he was talking about Olivia,

"You finally admitting you think it's my fault she's gone?" Elliot asked him slowly, Fin took a deep breath, "You think I don't know that already?" he rubbed his eyes, his constant headache was beginning to gain momentum,

"Man, I'm not...I'm sorry... But you need to get a grip, you can't talk to vics like that, it's not cool. Maybe having a woman made it okay before but you know what – it doesn't work now that she's gone. You need to be more understanding-"

"Hey I understand!" he said angrily,

"You basically told her it was her own fault for staying with him," Fin told him, Elliot looked up at him.

"I...I didn't mean to."

"I know man, I know." Not another word was spoken the whole way into the 1-6. Elliot stared ahead of him at all times, was his relationship with Olivia really similar to an abusive relationship? Is that why she had to get away? No. No way, he would never hurt her like that. He knew it, and she knew it too. She had to. He could be inconsiderate and at times downright rude, and he'd taken it to far sometimes but he always apologised.

"_He said he was sorry" _Lisa's words shot through him, he felt his heart sink. He knew he'd pushed her away, he knew it was his fault and he knew he had no one to blame but himself. He was still angry at her for leaving the way she did but he slowly began to reach an understanding, it was too hard. At times it was too much for him but he'd just punch something, she didn't do that. She cried. His heart sank even further. He had made her cry, he remembered how he tried to pull her close as she hit out at him, tears freely flowing down her face. Was that the only time he'd made her cry? The thought of her crying over him gave him an even deeper sense of self loathing, how could she have put up with him for so long? He finally understood the phrase "you don't know what you have til it's gone" and she was, there was nothing he could do about it.

****

As he and Fin silently walked into the 1-6 Elliot stretched and walked towards his desk, a young man walked in behind them,

"Can I help you?" Elliot asked casually, hoping it wouldn't take too long. Faking a smile, he looked nervous,

"Uh, I'm looking for the next of kin of Olivia Benson," he said, Elliot felt his heart drop. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't move. Next of kin, she was dead. His whole world crashed around him, in the mere seconds since the young man has spoken Elliot's mind went into complete overdrive. She was dead. This couldn't be happening. He wasn't hearing him right, there was no way she was dead, because he hadn't said sorry, he hadn't promised that he'd never hurt her again. He hadn't told her that kissing her was the most exhilarating moment in his life. She didn't know that he lay in bed thinking about her for hours, wondering if they would ever be face to face again. He was never going to see her smile again, never going to hear her laugh, she was never going to touch him again. He couldn't even see strait anymore. "Sir-" the young man interrupted his panic, he looked up and swallowed, struggling to speak.

"What...what happened?" he asked, the man looked around, "Please," Elliot croaked.

"She uh, a perp caught her off guard, hit her from behind-"

"El..." Fin walked in and immediately noticed the his friends expression, he looked broken he was pale and sweating, Fin walked closer to him,

"It's Liv..." he managed to mumble before getting up and running to the bathroom. He heard someone follow him in as he threw up, he couldn't stand. He couldn't move. As he slid down the wall Fin sat next to him, "She's dead," he whispered hoarsely, tears filling his eyes. Fin didn't know what to say. "I didn't...I didn't get to say sorry..." he looked up as the young man walked in,

"I'm sorry – I uh, I wasn't clear earlier." He said nervously, "And uh, I'm assuming your Elliot Stabler so I'm preparing myself for a punch – Liv's – she's not dead." Elliot's head shot up,

"What!" he exclaimed,

"She's, I'm sorry she's not dead, she's going to be okay, she's in hospital, uh still unconscious but she's not dead – she's uh, she's not dead." He braced himself for a violent attack from the man he knew as Elliot Stabler. His partner, Olivia, had told her all about him. He braced himself as Elliot launched himself at him, only to hear laughing and feel the older man pull him into a tight hug.

"What's your name?" Elliot asked, pulling away from the man.

"Uh, it's Daniel Sir, Daniel Thomas. I'm Olivia's partner," he held out his hand, Elliot paused before shaking it.

"Where is she Daniel?" he asked.

***

He almost ran through the corridor of the hospital, Daniel walking behind him. He knew she would kill him, she always told him to get anyone BUT Elliot Stabler, he didn't understand why but he knew she would kill him when she woke up and found out he did the complete opposite of what she had asked. His plan was to ask for Don Cragen, as he was told however seeing the panic his words had inflicted on the poor man he couldn't just leave him to think that she was dead, and he sure as hell wasn't going to take a beating for refusing to take him to see her. There were many things he knew his partner hadn't told him, why she'd left SVU, her partner, she never mentioned her family, Coming from a large family Daniel was constantly talking about his, she would just smile and listen. He watched as she dealt with perps each day but watching her with a victim of a mugging was what really made him see what was so special about her, she was so gentle and caring. He was shaken from his thoughts by Elliot walking towards him after rushing ahead,

"Where is she?" he asked.

***

His heart was beating so hard he was sure everyone could hear it as he approached the room his partner was in, he hadn't seen her for nearly 6 months, was she going to be happy to see him? What if she didn't want him there? No, then Daniel wouldn't have brought him, he walked in slowly and stopped at the door, she was still unconscious, he was almost grateful. He had to hold himself back as he longed to walk towards her and touch her, anywhere, her face her arms her hands. She looked so peaceful; his one regret from the night they had spent together was that he didn't get to watch her sleep. She looked beautiful, her hair had grown, he frowned as he saw the large bruise forming on her forehead. He walked slightly closer, allowing himself to accept that she was actually on front of him. He had only just started to accept that she wasn't coming back and here she was, he cursed himself as he found himself thankful to the son of the bitch who had hit her. Without her he was going crazy, he could feel the sanity slipping back into him for every second he was with her. How could she have left him, didn't she understand what she was doing to him? He'd never seen her look so beautiful, even with the bruise. He didn't think he'd ever been so relieved to see someone, he had to convince her to come back. She had to be hurting away from him too, he was shaken from his thoughts as Daniel walked in,

"Uh, Is Captain Cragen on his way?" he asked, Elliot nodded. He stared at Olivia, willing her to wake up, though the thought terrified him.

"Did they transfer her down here?" Elliot asked quietly, Daniel looked up.

"Uh, no she was already in the city, we've been chasing the perp for a while now. We followed him here," as he spoke Elliot looked up,

"When?" he asked,

"Nearly 5 weeks ago, we were getting ready to go back when we got lucky – well," he looked at Olivia,

"She's been here 5 weeks?" he asked, Daniel nodded. He knew he'd said something wrong, Elliot felt a sharp pain in his chest. 5 weeks, she had been in the city for 5 weeks and she hadn't contacted him, he turned to face her. She still looked so peaceful, he knew she could wake up at any minute.

"Did uh, did she ask you to call me?" he asked, Daniel shook his head. "If something like this happened? She didn't ask you to call me?" again Daniel shook his head, "She didn't mention me at all?" he mumbled,

"Uh," as Daniel began Elliot looked up,

"Detective Stabler-" he shifted uncomfortably,

"What is it, what did she say?" Elliot looked up at him, Daniel sighed.

"She asked me not to call you," he said, Elliot nodded. He felt like the wind had been knocked out of him, "I'm sorry- I'm sure if she wakes up and see's you here-"

"Do me a favour, don't uh, don't tell her I was here." He walked out slowly leaving Daniel with Olivia. As he walked through the corridors of the hospital he found himself becoming consumed with...with what? Anger, guilt, frustration...despair, that was it despair. She had asked for him not to be contacted, she obviously didn't want anything to do with him, he thought before she was too caught up in the case, he knew living away could distract someone. He also knew that maybe she needed time, so much had happened between them in such a short space of time. But...she had been only a few minutes away from him for 5 weeks and she hadn't contacted him once, could she really hate him that much? While he'd been convincing himself that she missed him just as much as he missed her – she was trying to write him out of her life completely. Fine. If that's what she wanted, it was done. The men he worked with were right, he had to move on. Accept she was gone, this time he made the choice, he'd seen her one last time and he was done.

***********

The first thing Olivia felt when she began to stir was a soft hand holding hers, her heavy head was filled with delight. She knew they would call him and she knew he would be here when she woke up. Her head was throbbing, she felt like she's been smacked in the head with a baseball bat – crazy considering she had literally been hit in head with a baseball bat. Son of a bitch. She wanted to open her eyes, she was terrified she hadn't seen him in so long. Was he angry at her? Did he want an explanation? Perhaps she could claim amnesia? Nasty head wound and all? She had never ever meant to hurt him or herself but she knew in essence that she had. She also knew that things hadn't changed overnight. She knew she had to stay away, nothing had changed but that chance to see him just once more time. She had often dreamed about him, and the night they spent together. She wished sometimes that she could have just stayed, but too much had happened. She missed him so much it hurt at times, she could never express the way she felt, she just knew she'd never felt it before. Leaving him was so hard to do, she'd cried herself to sleep many nights just wondering what he was doing and if he'd ever speak to her again, if she'd ever give him the chance to? She had considered calling him while she was in the same city as him, she'd even turned up outside his apartment, but she couldn't bear to see the look of anger in his eyes so she turned away. She didn't count on any of them ever knowing she was there, she didn't count on Bobby Malino. She turned her back for one second "Whack!". Thinking through the pain, she was so relieved he was at her side, even though she'd asked Daniel never to call him, just Cragen, she knew that if anything happened he wouldn't be too far away. As she managed to open her eyes, the light made her head thump even harder.

"Mmm," she moaned aloud,

"Olivia," she heard the gentle voice of...it wasn't Elliot. As she managed to look around she saw Don Cragen sat next to her gently holding her hand, "Welcome back," he smiled softly, she struggled to hide her disappointment as she looked around the room and realised Elliot wasn't there.

**Ooooh?! So what do you think? X**


	5. Chapter 5

Olivia struggled as she pulled her jacket over her shoulder. As well as a severe concussion she had broken ribs and a broken wrist, she wouldn't admit it to anyone but she was in agony. She heard footsteps approaching and her heart stopped, it has been 12 hours since she had woken up and she hadn't seen him. No one mentioned him. Fin and Munch had been in to see her. It was so good to see them again; it saddened her heart to think about leaving them again.

"You supposed to be doing that?" she looked up and again tried to hide her disappointment as Daniel walked in, where was he? There was no way he didn't know where she was. She gave Daniel a gentle smile. She knew in that moment that her fears had been confirmed, he couldn't forgive her. "Olivia?" Daniel tried to get her attention, she looked up.

"Oh, sorry, I uh...I'm not a fan of hospitals-"  
"You've been here 12 hours," he told her, she looked up at him. "Where are you going to go?"

"I'm going to stay in my apartment here tonight," she told him,

"The doctor said you shouldn't be alone, you were unconscious for a long time-"  
"Daniel, stop fussing." She winced as she struggled to pull her jacket yet again, her partner stepped forwards, he pulled the jacket over her shoulder, "Thanks," she said quietly, "I uh, I need some time." She told him, he nodded.

"You gonna be okay?" he asked, she nodded. "They, uh, they want us to stay here work with SVU, they think there are more victims down here," he saw her eyes widen,

"For how long?"

"Until we crack the case-"

"But we have the perp-"

"He's just one of the minions Liv, there's someone else controlling these guys." Olivia nodded and took a deep breath,

"We'll start tomorrow," she sighed,

"Tomorrow? Don't you-"

"Tomorrow, the sooner we crack this the sooner we go back." She told him.

**

She hadn't had a wink of sleep. She was going to see him. She had forced herself to accept the fact that they had both hurt each other too much to recover, so the task was to go in do her job and go back...back to a meaningless, empty life. She sighed heavily, how had it come to this? The tiniest part of her was excited to see him, the rest of her was terrified. She had come in early hoping to get in before him that way she may even be out before he came in, no such luck. As she walked through the main doors she saw him sat at his desk, his back was to her and he hadn't seen her yet. She had to remind herself to breathe, she didn't know if the pain in her chest was because of her injuries or the fact that she was inches away from Elliot. Maybe she could just stay behind him, if he didn't turn his back she could be there hours without him even noticing.

"Olivia!" Munch walked forwards with a grin on his face, well that was that plan ruined.

Elliot's heart skipped a beat as he heard her name, she was behind him. She was in the same room as him. What did he do? He couldn't just sit there, did he smile? Did he hug her? No he couldn't touch her. He turned around to see her stood there, she looked so fragile. "What are you doing here?" Munch asked,

"We uh, we're going to be working here until we solve the case-"

"We?"

"Daniel and I, he uh, he'll be here soon. He's got a problem with early mornings." She admitted,

"Isn't it a little soon for you to be out of hospital?"

"They discharged me yesterday," she lied, she had discharged herself. "Uh, Elliot..." she barely whispered, he closed his eyes for a few second before taking a deep breath.

"Hey Liv," he stood up with a huge grin on his face, it wasn't the grin she was used to and she knew he was faking it. "Good to see you again," he gently patted her on the arm as he walked strait past her, she struggled not to fall apart there and then. She forced a smile as she realised John was still staring at her.

"You okay?" he asked, she nodded,

"Great!" she lied, "I'm great." He watched as tears filled her eyes,

"Liv-"

"No, no it's okay." She told him, "I'll just...I'll be a minute okay?" she walked towards the toilets, John turned as Daniel walked in.

"Hey! Morning I'm Daniel-"

"Yeah Liv said you were coming, John Munch" the men shook hands,

"Is Olivia here yet?" he asked, John nodded.

"She'll be out soon, just powdering her nose." John sighed and walked away leaving Daniel to look around.

**

Elliot was stood on the roof, he heard the door open and his heart stopped. She'd followed him up, he sighed. He turned to finaly face her only to face his older, shorter friend,

"Munch-"

"I don't know what happened with you guys Elliot, but you and I both know it's not right. You've been missing her for months, she finally turns up and you give her a pat on the back?" he asked,

"It's complicated,"

"I don't care you were partners for 7 years, I know you think you're protecting yourself right now, cause she's not here forever but why not talk to her? Get you two back on track?"

"We can't get back on track, don't you get it? She left me-" he stopped himself. "She left. She left, not me. She doesn't need me anymore-"

"So what you're not her knight in shining armour anymore?" he asked. Elliot thought back to the night that ruined everything. She had told him he wasn't her knight in shining armour. He sighed and shook his head.

"She doesn't want me around,"

"Did you see the look on her face? Come on Elliot, you two were closer than a real life couple for nearly 7 years, you gonna give it all up cause she left?"

"John, this is nothing to do with you."

"You're hurting each other, I just don't get why..." he walked forwards. "Did uh, did something happen with you two?" Elliot considered telling the man, this was a new side to Munch, maybe he could trust...no. This was Munch. The whole station would know.

"No, nothing happened. It wasn't like that-"he lied,

"You had a tough case, you lost a kid and she couldn't take it. She's allowed to break. Hell, you're supposed to fix her. Go talk to her," he told him,

"I got things to do." Elliot walked past him, leaving the old man stood alone ready to bang his colleagues heads together.

**

Olivia was sat at her desk when he came down, she looked up at him, unsure of what to do or say. He was coming closer to her, closer. She released the breath she didn't realise she'd been holding. No one else was around, something she was thankful for, they could finally talk.

"Olivia..." he leant over her desk as he used to, "Did you tell Daniel not to let me see you?" he asked, her eyes widened. It all made sense. She was going to kill Daniel. She knew he wouldn't have stayed away without reason. She nodded slowly,

"I thought – I thought it would be for the best but I-"she wanted to tell him how wrong she was, how disappointed she was every time someone who wasn't him stepped through the door.

"That's all I needed to know." He walked away,

"No, Elliot-" she stood up a little too quickly, she braced herself on the side of the desk.

"You did this," he told her angrily, "You left, you changed your number. Then you're hurt and I have to hear from some kid that you don't want me there, you want me out of your life fine. It's done. Don't come back here and give me those eyes, like I'm hurting you. Like I'm the one who ran away, you ran away."

"I'm sorry," she mumbled, she was struggling to breathe. She didn't know if it was the force of his words or the injuries that had caused her so much distress; she needed to tell him she was trying to save him. She left so that he could work with no problems, no boundaries. She left so he didn't have to sacrifice anyone else for her. She left so he didn't have to deal with the guilt of loosing another child because he chose her.

"You're a coward Olivia, I'm not doing this again." He couldn't stop himself. The months of anguish and torment built up, he didn't even mean half the things he was saying. He just wanted her to understand how it felt "You did me a favour, when you left I realised exactly how much you were holding me back, and guess what I haven't lost a kid since." He almost felt triumphant; he must have hurt her now. She must understand how it feels? He looked up at her expecting to see an angry face, maybe another slap? His heart stopped. He had hurt her, she was leaning on the desk. He couldn't see her face, he broken wrist was held closely to her stomach. Before he could assess exactly how much of an ass he had been and apologise he saw her sway. He wanted her to yell back, for them to scream at each other and eventually find a resolution. He was a pig, and he knew it. "Olivia..." before he could finish she toppled over, he ran forwards and caught her just before she hit the ground. "Liv," he called and he held her in his arms. "I need some help in here!" he yelled desperately, "I'm sorry...I'm sorry." He told her as he held her close.

**More?! Thank you for sticking with the story, you guys have been great! Please review, let me know what you think? X**


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry it's taken me so long to update, this is a chapter to connect a few dots and get us going to where I want us to be, reviews are always appriciated so please take a moment just to let me know what you think?? Thanks guys xxxx**

He sat and watched her sleep, she looked so peaceful. The bruise that had placed itself firmly on her cheek was a constant reminder of the fact that someone had had their hands on her.

Elliot watched as the doctors moved in and out of the room,

"How is she?" he looked up as Cragen walked in.

Elliot shook his head.

"She's stupid," he sighed, "She discharged herself, that's why she collapsed she wasn't ready..."

"Is that why? I thought it had something to do with the fact that you were screaming blue murder at her," as he spoke Elliot hung his head slightly. "I don't know what's happened with you two..."

"It's complicated," he shook his head and turned back to Olivia. He was a bastard. He'd been trying to hurt her, the way that she'd hurt him, he knew he'd regret it and he knew she'd be mad but he didn't expect her to collapse in his arms. As he held her and gently brushed the hair from her face, she looked so vulnerable and he'd never hated himself more.

"You wanted to punish her for leaving?" Cragen asked.

Elliot looked up. He didn't say a word,

"You two have been through a lot together Elliot, she'll kill me for saying this but you're all she has."

"She's all...she's all I have-"

"You have the kids Elliot, that case...it hit you both hard, it happens to all partners,"

"No..." he closed his eyes. He still dreamt about Ryan. He couldn't get the little boys face out of his head,

"You lost a kid Elliot, it's always hard – blaming yourself-"

"I'd do it again," he admitted.

Cragen looked slightly confused.

"I would chose Liv over a victim-"

"And she'd chose you,"

"How can you just accept that- people will die because of us," he shook his head, didn't the older man hear what he was saying?

"No, you save people Elliot, you and Olivia...you're two of the best. Think of the amount of people you've saved compared to those you've lost."

"I don't want her to get hurt again," he'd never been so honest with his captain, never so honest with himself. As much as he couldn't stand the thought of losing another victim, the thought of losing her overwhelmed him.

"Then don't be the one to do it," Cragen told him softly. "Tell her I called?" he asked.

Elliot nodded as Cragen left. He turned back to the woman lying in front of him.

**

Danny was sat with Fin, waiting for news on Olivia. They'd been asked to stay in the 1-6,

"She'll be fine," Fin told him, trying to reassure the younger man.

He nodded,

"What's Stabler's problem with her?" he asked, "Were they...were they together?"

"No, they were never like that."

"He's you're friend?" Daniel asked, unable to say what he was going to say. There was something about Stabler he didn't like, the way Olivia was when he was mentioned. The way he'd been with her before she collapsed. It was like she was terrified of him, and he wanted to know why.

"Uh, yeah they both are-" Fin sighed, he'd had his fair share of arguments with Elliot, but he was a friend.

"I should be there with her," Daniel sighed as he looked through an old case file. "But I guess Stabler would have something to say about that?" he asked.

Fin shrugged. He knew if Elliot wanted to be with Olivia there was no way he would allow anyone else to take his place.

**

Olivia opened her eyes slowly, her head was throbbing.

"Hey," she heard the soft voice. she knew she was dreaming. She couldn't quite remember how she'd got there, but she knew there was no chance Elliot was by her side. She'd fooled herself too many times already to start thinking he would be there again, "Liv?" she heard his voice again and as she finally came to she saw him,

"Elliot..." she mumbled.

He gave her a soft smile.

"What happened?" she asked, still confused as to why he was being so nice to her.

"You uh, you discharged yourself early and your body decided it wasn't such a good idea, gave us all a bit of a scare." He told her, slightly relieved that she didn't remember him laying into her.

"I'm sorry," she told him, she hoped he understood. She was sorry for leaving him, for not coming back. She needed him to understand that she had to go away to protect him, to protect anyone else from getting hurt because she couldn't put aside her feelings for him. She couldn't stand the thought of him hating her.

"You're sorry for collapsing?" he asked. He tried to smile.

She bit her lip and looked away.

"You okay? Are you in pain?"

"No, I'm good," she lied.

"I didn't realise you were hurt so badly," he told her.

She looked at him. What was he talking about? Physically? Emotionally?

"Uh yeah he really beat the crap out of me," she was embarrassed to admit that she'd yet again needed protecting. She knew what he would be thinking, he'd yelled at her before telling her that he didn't want to keep watching her back, she thought she didn't need him to...obviously she was wrong, she would've laughed at the irony if it didn't hurt so much. She winced slightly as she tried to shift in the bed.

"You okay?" he put his hand over hers.

She pulled away quickly.

He looked up at her, "Sorry," he mumbled.

She looked away from him. He'd just touched her, the first time since they'd slept together. She blushed remembering how it felt to have his hands all over her,

"Uh..."

"I should go," Elliot stood up, unable to face the fact that she couldn't stand to be touched by him, he'd been awful to her he knew that, but while she was sleeping he released exactly how much he missed her.

He was angry at himself for treating her the way that he had and he wanted to make it up to her. He forgave her, he didn't know when but he forgave her for leaving...and he didn't want to watch her walk away again...why couldn't he tell her?

She wanted to tell him to stay, she wanted him to sit with her, she finally felt normal again at his side. She was about to ask him to speak when Daniel walked in,

"Liv, how are you feeling?"

"I'm okay," she told him, wishing he'd waited just a little bit longer, apparently Elliot felt the same way.

"Can you uh, can you give us a few minutes?" he asked.

Daniel saw the expression on her face. The same pained expression she had whenever Elliot was around, what the hell was this guy doing to her.

"Uh, I just need to talk to my partner,"

"Don't you mean my partner?" Daniel asked, staring Elliot in the eye.

"Is there a problem?"

"I dunno Stabler, you about to lay into my partner again?" if the younger man was intimidated he sure as hell wasn't showing it.

"Daniel-" Olivia tried to interrupt,

"I'm sorry but I don't get why you aren't telling this guy to get out- he's treated you like crap since you got back, God knows what he did to make you leave,"

"You need to shut your mouth," Elliot squared up to him,

"What are you gonna do? Hit me? That why Liv's terrified of you?" He spat.

"Whoa!" Liv threw her hand in the air trying to get the attention of her partners, past and present. "No Daniel-"

"You don't have to stand up for him I've figured it out, we were here for 5 weeks and you didn't want anything to do with him, it makes sense now."

As he spoke Elliot roughly grabbed him by the throat,

"I would never touch her...like that." He told the younger man,

"Anger management issues Stabler? You ever had her against the wall like this?"

Elliot flinched, he had her pinned against the wall at her apartment, but not violently. He'd never hurt her, although he must have hurt her when he pinned her against the wall.

He'd kissed her then, more passionately than he'd ever kissed anyone before and here was this kid accusing him of physically hurting her.

"You have done this to her, you son of a bitch."

"Stop it." Olivia told them both as she struggled to get out of the bed,

"Stay there Liv-" Elliot told her, scared she would hurt herself. He let go of Daniel,

"Don't tell her what to do," Daniel stood in front of his partner,

"Danny you've got it wrong okay, Elliot would never hurt me." She spoke softly,

"I see the way you look at him you're scared." Daniel didn't understand why she wouldn't just admit that he'd hurt her.

Olivia got out of the bed and walked towards them both. Both she and Elliot could understand why the younger man was confused, Olivia was frightened...not of Elliot but of her feelings for him, and Elliot knew that he'd treated her badly and he knew that he had a habit of lashing out at her, just never physically.

"Elliot could you give us a minute?" she asked.

He walked out slowly.

"Daniel, It's complicated, but Elliot would never lay a finger on me." She told her young partner, "He's a good man." She looked Daniel in the eye, "We've been partners for a long time, and we've been through a lot,"

Daniel walked her back to her bed, "I...I was so sure." He sighed,

"I promise you, he's hard...impossible sometimes but he would never lay a finger on a women,"

"Then what the hell happened? You've been in this crazy mind frame since we got back to Manhattan – that was five weeks ago."

"I know, I just...things happened and I wasn't ready to deal with it. We lost a kid..." she admitted, "And when something like that happens you pick it out on the only other person who understands," she explained, finally realising herself exactly why Elliot had reacted the way that he had when Ryan died.

**

Daniel had long since left and Olivia was asleep, watching her sleep brought him such relief, she couldn't run away from him while she was in front of him, eyes closed, chest rising and falling softly.

"Mmmm."

He sat up slightly as she frowned and began to moan, was she having a bad dream? He looked around wondering what he should do,

"No..."

His eyes shot up, what was she dreaming about? She had once confided in him that she had dreamt of being assaulted, something that chilled him to the bone. Was she having that dream again? A chill ran down his spine, he'd faced many demons because of his career but he had his sex to fall behind. Of course there were male rape victims but the majority were women and related to Olivia, perhaps this was why she'd had the nightmares? He looked at her, hoping that wasn't what she was dreaming.

"No...Elliot..."

His heart stopped as he heard his voice. She had nightmares about him? An overwhelming sense of guilt washed over him, what the hell had he done to her? He reached for her hand but changed his mind pulling away, he watched as her face twisted and changed as her nightmare became more intense and he couldn't help it, he placed his hand gently on top of hers and the frown disappeared. He gently rubbed her hand with his thumb, silently promising that he would make it up to her, no matter what it took.

**Again thank you for following this, more to come soon, please review! Xx**


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